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- Rise of bestiality brothels spurs calls for German legislators to get their act in Gere and ban zoophilia [Sick]
- Pigs pinch pensioner for propagating potted poolside pot plants. Pisser [Florida]
- Girl Scouts now accept credit cards, still won't accept "No" for an answer, though [Interesting]
- Having solved all other crimes, Staten Island cops now cracking down on the evil malcontents who park outside the lines [Asinine]
- What was the last movie that you saw at a drive-in? Subby's was a double-feature of Sister Act and HouseSitter [Survey]
- Fire rips through candy company during Easter production run: "The amount of chocolate that had melted and was on the floor -- it was hard to move around in there. We had guys covered in chocolate" [Sad]
- Theme: Before and After [Photoshop]
- News: motorcyclist chases down DUI hit-and-run driver and hog-ties him with a belt. Texas: for the second time in 9 months. Fark: is recognized at the scene by the arresting police officer from the prior incident [Hero]
- Australian SPCA designs iPad app for kittens so they can play games all Caturday long [Caturday]
- The annual Retromobile show in Paris is underway. Come for the 1959 Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder, stay for the last Facel Vega ever built [Cool]
- Presenting the chicken wing cupcake. You're welcome [Cool]
- Fireman assumes task of guiding plane into landing after air traffic controllers fail to show up for work. Looks like he picked the wrong week to quit drinking [Scary]
- A new frontrunner for Douche of the Year emerges as a 20-year-old steals a 6-year-old's lunchbox. At gunpoint [Dumbass]
- Two words: Bacon Milkshake [PSA]
- Great Britain could get up to 4" of snow this weekend. EVERYBODY KEEP A STIFF UPPER LIP [Silly]
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